| Sparky eh? |
[29 Jul 2003|04:20pm] |
Black James Flint
Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Thats kinda funny- i've been known to be called Sparky both in real life and in Everquest ^_^
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| Busy busy busy |
[29 Jul 2003|03:53pm] |
Well, lives been kinda crazy lately. Work has been really wearing on me which is kinda strange. I get out and I feel like i just worked 4 Fridays in a row. So its my day off and I'm relaxing. I've got this amazingly nasty 'you slept in too much' taste in my mouth and I'm busy installing Dark Age of Camalot. My dad woke me up this morning and casualy hinted that I should wake up and install it. I casualy tossed the box on to my computer chair and immeadiatly dozed back off. I'm sure he'll be back though. Speaking of such where the hell is everyone? The house is like completely empty! Well whereever they are I hope they buy some light bulbs, mine just blew out and all the place I take lightbubls from are all blown out too. So I'm proud of myself, i got a lot of things accomplished the other day. I got up to the post office and got the mail. Which reminds me, i have to look and see if I got that letter from jess yet. Anyhow, cashed my check, mailed the phone bill out. Today I'm gonna call the dentist office and make yet another appointment, I beleive i missed my last one. Oh well, I'm sure i'll be paying on that missed apointment bill forever anyhow.
In everquest: I made level 65! My smithing skill is now up to 165. No one will buy this damn ring I have, i know people that want to but they just dont have the money for it. Where are the big spenders these days? oh well, maybe it's a junky ring and im just delusional. I need to group in the Bastion of Thunder more often and get some more melee gear to sell. Ok so i'm wandering around in the Stonebrunt Moutians and I come across this gigantic white gorrila called "Old Ghostback" i know hes for some quest. So of course, I love a challange and know he can't be rooted or snared. I tanked *and* kiled him with just 2 nukes! About 5 min after I kill him, someone ooc's Did someone just kill Ghostback? And im like Yep! )..So he goes oh well, congratz. And i'm like hey do you need me to Multi-Quest the pelt for you? And he like flips his lid and is like omg yes but i dont have enough plat to pay you! So i asked him do you have any low quality pelts? and hes like oh yeah hold on a second. The man gave me 12 STACKS!! thats somewhere around 200 Pelts!!! I had to clear out an entire slot in my bank just to fit 1/2 of them in there! So i'm totaly set for Leather Padding for smithing now. i'll never need to farm for pelts again. Only thing i'll need is silks, as mundain as that is i think i can handle it. Now if someone would just buy this ring..i could be comfortably well off and be just fine! ^_^
I'm off to clean my room enough so i can get the door open to let the sunlight in. See ya later.
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| Double Score! |
[16 Jul 2003|04:01am] |
In Everquest: Yes!!! Finally!! After time and time again missing raids and everything finally we dropped the behemoth last night. I guess all that standing around paid off. Although I didn't win the ubah ring that droped *damn* I'll have points to spent at the Ring event on Saturday I guess. I'm Plane of Tactics flagged now!! yeah!!
In real life: I lost my wallet in my wreck of a room so when I went to the bank i'm sure I annoyed all of the bank tellers. Got Jess out the money order for my sisters dress. My sister wracked up like 10 extra dollars in long distance charges on my phone- Joy! Oh but i can't say anything because she rubbed the fact that she gave me money for getting rid of my car...nice. Anyhow so my phone bill is like 50 dollars- Yay, no wonder I play to many games and sleep too much. If im not at work and not doing either of those things I am quickly reminded how much of a financial fuck box im in. I reallly need to clean my room but who wants to clean it after a hard days work? Maybe next monday when my sched gets back to normal.
Missy- we need to get together and play runescape again, i will gladly drop Everquest. Just let me know the next time your on and want to play ok? ^_^ Oh and tell people to read my journal- i like feedback, or is my life just inequivicably boring and rutine?
Feelings: I feel like im empty and that i desire some sort of food or liquid but i cannot figure out what will fill it. I want a watermellon slushy, tea, chocolate party cake, icecream, hot wings, and ribs. And i want somoene to give me the money for all that because im too broke! *cry* ...will i ever get to college? I have the desire to go but..how will i get there w/o a car? eh- maybe after all the wedding expenses are taken care of i can relax.
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| Meanwhile...On Everquest |
[14 Jul 2003|11:25pm] |
So yeah...we dropped the dragon in the Plane of Valor today. I think im wearing every peice of magic resistance gear I own plus some I dont. Right now we're standing outside the windmill in the Plane of Tranquillity trying to figure out if we have enough crowd control to take the Behemoth- kill that allows you access to the Plane of Tactics. Personally i think it would be sweet if we dropped the PoV dragon and the Behemoth all in the same night, on a monday even, when I'm off! Aparently i have 40 raidpoints now! yay! I almost won a kawai shawl but some other guy had 4*2* points..Blah..
Anyhow I hope they figure out their shit- Im starting to get group invites, which like never happens and I'd like for them to say no no, we suck- 2 bards and 2 enchanters is not gonna be enough crowd control and let me get on with my evening. Heck- i might even be able to take up one of these group offers.....what am I saying, by the time we're told nuhuh I'll be shouting Looking For Group the whole rest of the night...meh...the luck. If they don't figure it out im sure Altrustic Valorians will...they're practicly looming over our shoulder waiting to see if we're having a sever Duh fit so they can run in and wax him before we have the chance to. Whichever, i wish something would happen, i really hate standing around.
Teresa did NOT call today- was going to help set up her computer but I guess she didn't have the time to squeeze it in. I can't say that im really disapointed, im already covering for her Tuesday and as much as I like her- I don't really want to waist any more of it on her account. Luckily she's covering for me on Saturday so i can go to the lake!! *cheer*
Ok...i'm going back into the game now- We'll see what happens.
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| Blah |
[14 Jul 2003|02:30pm] |
Well I just slept 1/2 the day away, but hey- It's my day off, i can do that. I don't feel like playing anything really game wise, this is a new feeling for me. I just realized that when my computer got erased that I lost DDR!! Missy!! *whine* I need a new copy!
Eric's girlfriend is being really stupid. I suspect her friends talked her into leaving Eric since she's moving back to flordia soon. 2 1/2 years....Geeze. Thats gotta be hard, especially since she was just like "oh yeah by the way, i just realized saturday that we would just never really work out" And everything was just hunky dory untill just a few days ago. In fact, Eric said, She was at my house a few days ago and was crying and saying how much she was glad they were together and how much she's helped him over these 2 years. They've really grown together I guess. Women can be fickle bitches sometimes I guess....J know it has to have something to do with seeing her friend. She's sounding a lot like what Jess sounded like after she would take one of those lovely visits to Staci's house...I'm glad we're over that mess.
Christian was online last night so i got to talk to him. I'm gonna go to the lake on Saturday and watch the fireworks with his girlfriend and kirsten *i had no idea kirsten was in town again!* Kirtens my friend from Penn. We met...well...ages ago. Good friends ^^ Anyhow im really excited that I get to get out of the house and dress up a little.
Lol Oh yeah, btw- i was on the phone last night with Jess and she was like "oh hea hold on i forgot something important" and i'm like ok..she comse back and im like "what did you forget?" shes like "Oh, i forgot i'm starting my birthcontrol pills today"
We're doomed to the horrible fate of having 6 children....I can see it coming.
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| Yay! |
[10 Jul 2003|02:12pm] |
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Well I got my computer back from the shop! *yay* Man i was so deprived, i went rollerblading last night until my legs were sore then i went home and passed out. Apparently it wasn't the video card as I had thought. Guys at Armordyne said that my proccesser was overheating so they put in a new one in with some extra cooling feature. Said they played games for like 1/2 hour with no lock ups, thats pretty good considering it was locking ever 5 min for me. Im excited, now i can play runescape with Mis and Laura again. I missed that ^^ Well im gonna go romp around on my pc before i gotta jet for work. I'll post after work, see ya later ^^
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| Wiped Clean |
[07 Jul 2003|02:06am] |
Well the virus that has been laying silent in my computer finally decided to wake up and do its business. I figured out that it being in the System Volume Information folder was one of the worst placese to get it stuck in, its unremovable because windows XP denies all user access to that particular folder. So in short, I blew it all away. Unfortunatly all my anime, spongebob eps, and Space ghost eps are all gone. Im not too upset about it, i can always download them again. I'm busy reinstalling everything as we speak.
This week at work completely sucked. Everyone had to order 1/2 hour before we close so that means i get to stay after work and clean *sigh* Im so glad im off for a while. I don't know how much more of that i could take. The heat wasn't helping things either.
Sorc is 31 now, compelted that one quest and it gave me a buttload of xp. I've still yet to play with eric, bastard needs to write me back. Gotta get out and play runescape with Missy but they're at dino's now. Seemed the perfect time to fix up the ol' PC. I've been feeling kinda poetic and artsy lately, Thinking about busting out my old sketch book..gonna need some mechanical pencils though. Oh well..i'm going to restart my pc for the 300th time today for more updates. laters.
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| Evil Bordem |
[02 Jul 2003|02:24pm] |
I think there is a case of sevear bordem going around. I havn't felt the burning drive to get on everquest for ages now. This mis and jess are feeling it too. I really don't know whats up, I'm going to bed at 4 and sleeping in till 2pm and im STILL tired! Tuesday i slept in till 5 and I had to force myself out of bed! Man i had some crazy dreams too. Had this dream where i was saving this lil girl from these psycho people, and the chase was very disturbing. Like i put her in this long plactic bucket, but she started crying so i had to get her out. That was her idea, i told her we should have kept running! Well anyhow, somehow i managed to jump on the back of this car with her and thow this satanic grandma lady out of the car..she had a gun..attached to an elastic cord that was attached to the car? Anyhow, it only had 3 bullets. So then we get in the car. Ever notice how its hard to drive in your dreams? Well somehow i managed to make the car fly...but then they started chasing us using chickens...so we had to fly over the ocean cuz you know chickens can only fly short distances? They were shooting seeds at us, and then we went to this castle i suppositly own. And they tried to break though the magic barrier i put around it. Then i woke up- I'd seriously like to know what relation this girl is to me or what situation she was in that i felt the need to bring her to my castle and put it in danger. My poor castle!..wait..n/m.
Me and Missy have been playing a lot of Runescape lately- Lol we have matching capes and hats with lil stars on them. We look like an evil club ^^; Laura keeps on getting bugged by all the low level riff raff- Starting to feel bad for her. I played everquest for a little bit, died horribly on a raid, but oh well it was fun. The Tron 2.0 demo is pretty good, except that i ran into this guy who couldn't speak english last night and he just kept nailing me with his disc. I mean the damn thing was like glued to my forehead, i dont know how he could aim that good...need to practice more.Jess has had a short temper as of late, i wish i could figure out whats causing it. If i had to guess i would say overexposer to brian and chrisys endless supply of stupidity rays.
Gah- what is it with my life? I need more friends close by, everyones going to parties and im SO left out! Why did all my friends have to join the Army? Bah, im going to college. Maybe i can start an anime clu....nah.....those always atract all the WEIRD people ;p Need to hook up with christian soon so i can get out of the darn house. Either that or clean my room, its getting hard to move in here.
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| ..a pie...of..of lost souls... |
[30 Jun 2003|01:08am] |
So...i forgot all about my journal...somehow..in the suckiness...back there...so, im back again. I'll be to the point in summing up the last few years. I realized no one other than jess will complete me, so I proposed in November of 02' We're getting married Aug. 23, '03. I saved up for a car, i got my licence...um...i wrecked my car...im broke...so yeah, i have no money.
Missy made my journal rock- please note the new look and say Missy, you are one cool person- if you were to ask me who is a cool person, i would say "missy, YOU are a cool person". ^_-
Please god.......give me another car....please?
one of these days im going to explain that feeling I get when i see a sunset over a city area with the clouds pink and blue..its a nice feeling.
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| The Price Paid |
[14 Oct 2001|09:55pm] |
Even thought I paid 66 dollars for Christian, Beth, and I to have a good time, it was not to be. It reminded me of those Master Card commercals. Ceder point tickets; 66 dollars. Acumulative travel costs; 35 dollars. Watching your best friend betray your feelings; priceless. Yeah, thats right. I paid all that to watch Beth flirt with Christian the whole trip. It was pretty much basic 2nd grade flrting. You know, pushing, kicking, punching, all that stuff. I thought they were just bein friends and, even though I was jelious I kept my mouth shut. The fact that Beth only talked to Christian a lot also kind of hurt me to. She only noded when I started talkin to her, and rarely used her voice to answer me. Now I know that we are friends, so I shouldn't have been all that attached to her, but everyone knows how I feel about her. I *still* let things go, thinking that maybe christian and her were just getting to know one another and being friends. Do you know how much it hurts to watch your best friend put his chair back and get a nice long back rub from the girl you love? And then, with a bit of humer in his voice, say "i love you?". I'll tell you how it feels. You can just feel, inside your chest, the waters of depression and sadness wash up over your shore. You feel them rise until you drown in them, to where you cannot bear to be in the car anymore. Christian has been my best friend for years, more than I can remember or count. He knows how I feel! I've told him because hes the only one I thought understood. He even said, at work, to all my friends, that if your best friend dates someone, you should have respect enough to deny any affection that someone may throw your way. I just dont know why he would do this! He knows my life has been going down hill sense she said she wouldn't go out with me, and I've tried so hard to just be her friend. Some how I think its going to be a lot easier now to be her friend. Shes hurt me in a way no other girl has before. And now, theres nothing left of me. Jess is scared to get close to me again, Beth oviously enjoys tourturing me, and I can see my life just slowly desintigrating around me. I wish I could just have one day where I could have a happy entry in this damn thing. Figures. So now theres nothing but darkness. The darkness I tried so hard to run from has finnaly caught up with me. I guess theres nothing to do but let it consume me, and hope for the best as much as I can. It's days like these that make me happy that its raining and the skys grey. Anything else would just be adding insult to injury.
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| The Evil Cycle Continues |
[08 Oct 2001|07:56pm] |
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depressed |
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A $30 dollar shirt gone for good and very low paychecks add to the "why my life sucks" list. My rooms a wreck, I gotta get this thing clean. Started playin Magic the gathering at school, my deck is pretty good. Grades are good this six weeks. Im in an emotional slump. I feel so depressed, I just want Beth, thats all. Thats all I really want anymore is just to be with her. You ever hear that song that goes "you look at her, she looks at me, shes got me thinking about her constantly, but she dont know how I feel." ? Well that would be about how it is. After I get done with the whole Cedar Point thing, the next paycheck goes to buy new pants and another 30 dollar shirt. *ARG!* Then its time to haul ass and save money. I have to have enough for my trip to IL or else my trip is going to be a short and uneventful one. I hung out at the fair on Saturday all night. What a freakin boar! I froze my @$$ off, almost got into a fight that I had nothing to do with, starved because I had no money with me, and the night was toped off with Aron Bishop teaching me a little bit on the drum sticks via wooden benches and brick walls. You take all that body heat for granted, untill you loose it. This poor lady wanted me to fix her computer so she could use it at her house. Man let me just tell you, palientologists have nothing compared to me now. For starters, the A: did *NOT* have a power cord, just a data cable. It had a card with a male connecter that I could only imagin and still then couldn't think of what it accually went to. The poor chase had this aluminum sheet metal crap attached all over it, making a horrible sound everytime I took the case on or off. And the motherboard's CMOS battery *so I assume* was on an extention board, not on the motherboard. Had I been told to do this computer justice, I probably would have dumped gasoline on it, set it aflame, and put the poor thing out of its misery. Luckily it was just an issue of RAM or so I think. I'll probably have it either fixed or sitting in the slag heap by the end of the week. If I was a professional, she probably could have bought her a new computer 3 times over right about now for what I'd charge. Jess and I talked on the phone, I like talking to her and surprisingly enough I missed her. I like having her around because it makes me feel like I'm not all alone in the world. She is probably right now the thin line between this and utter depression. Beth just doesn't know how bad she's tearing me up inside. It's ok though, I'll wait, if it really really means that much, which it does, I'll wait. I wont let my impatience get the better of me. Its monday, its dark out, and I'm sitting in my sad cubical space with my thermal jacket on because its comportable, silently contemplating the world, life, and everything as it pretains to me. At this point, Im not sure if I feel the curve of better surcumstances, or the dip before the drop out. The week, I guess, will have to tell the tale.
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| More Suckyness, Will It Ever End? |
[04 Oct 2001|12:32am] |
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Asked Beth if whe wanted to go to the fair with me yesterday, she said she probably would. Called her after school today to see when i should go pick her up and she was getting ready to go to Wal-Mart. Damn you Wal-Mart...ehehhe. Can't really get mad at her or anything. Well, I suppose I could but it would do anything for me or for us anyhow. Sides that, today pretty much blew. I went over to Harolds and he helped me with my Magic cards. I just built a new deck and I'll be taking its virginity tomorrow. Man that sounds horrible, but thats what they call a deck thats never been played before, a "virgin" deck. I slept pretty much all of today off, there just wasn't anything to do. After Beth canceld on me, she left a nice big hole in my schedual where nothing happend. I could have cleaned my room or something but I really didn't care about the day anymore after that. Talking with her on the phone was hard too because I just wanted to be like "Why???". Oh well, theres always Cedar Point. lol- just wait, the day I go there will be a mile long post about why life in general sucks because something happend and we couldn't go. It would figure, my kind of luck. You know, my life usually doesn't suck this bad. In fact everthings going pretty good, its the whole female department that sets the mood for everything else. =) Maybe things will get better....damn, I sure hope so.
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| Sleep The Sucky Day Away |
[02 Oct 2001|09:25pm] |
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Everyone was sleepy today for some reason. I think it was because it is unusually warm for October. Maybe that relaxed everyone, I dunno. Lots of homework tonight, and no more raspberry Zingers or Fudge Rounds in the cafateria today. So yeah it sucked. Beth was waiting for me in the morning at my table. She's so cute, its just not fair really. The nice thing is that she told me it was her, not me, and that if she decides to date again she'll come looking for me. That thought atleast, was comporting. It's been the only thing this week that has. We're going to Cedar Point next saturday now. I only hope that when we go, god with just look down and have mercy on me and let Beth fall in love with me. It's kind of funny how you're just walking along one day, you run into some girl, and fall so flat on your face in love with her you can't even see strait. I really should be doing my homework right now...eh, fuck it. I'll do it here in a little bit. Wonderful priorities, huh? =) Sure hope things get better soon, my life was in so much better condition a week ago. Now, im not even sure whats going to happen. Oh sure, I know my grades are great, I know that I dont have to go to school Thurs. if i dont want to, and I know that I'm gonna get extra hours at work and my order at kikwear is going to go through, but all that seems almost infinticimal compaired to whether me and Beth will be together or not. I suppose all I can do is give it time and hope for the best. I just hope its not a replay of back in the day. God knows I tried so hard to get a girl friend. Then when I got one all she wanted me to do was tie down. Well atlest some things are looking good. Been playing a lot more Jedi Knight, new patches are comming out and they have some really sweet ass levels that are out. Some day when I have time, maybe i'll accualy make a working one. There I go dreaming again. *lol* I'm gonna try and borrow Ken's magic cards some time so me and everyone else can play magic together. I think its a cool game. Oh yeah by the way, Bobby showed me her mature side today, you know, the one that I aparently dont have? Yeah, I said Hi to her today in an effort to break the tention between us and promptly got snubbed off. As far as I'm concerned, that silly bitch can deal with her problems. Im not the one with them, when she wants to come to me and tell me that she wont point out my every flaw, then we'll talk. Untill then I hope she has fun in her little "im ms. perfect" world. Because that's all she'll ever be, a ms. God knows shes got more man in her than girls should. Well, its getting late, I need to take care of my homework. Im outta here, I hope things get better, I hope just something I want to happen happens, and I hope that something includes Beth. Then again, I could be having a mild delusion in thinking that I have a chance with her, Oh well- least I tried right? Im sure someday I'll be able to put my heart back together, someday...
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| I can't spell |
[01 Oct 2001|07:45pm] |
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Yes, I know- If my life came down to me spelling any lengthy word correctly, I would die, hands down. Bear with me guys! =)
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| Females...One paradox right after another. |
[01 Oct 2001|07:43pm] |
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Today has been pretty crazy. I'll explain the title in a bit, first let me ramble about my day. School was as such, no homework, Lab work comming out of my eyeballs, lots of laughing and talking and I had these raspberry Zingers that are just fuckin awesome! I realizsed today that I consume about 15 different types of beverages a day! Crazy huh? Had a blast at cedar point last night, as always. Nothing beats coaster rides! Well anyhow, sense everything just went down the shit hole about 5 seconds ago, lets get down to business. Females, you love to hate them. You hate to love them. They are the best thing you'll ever have, the worst thing you'll ever have and the most expensive thing you'll have to maintain. Why, I dont know, thats the way the world works. Anyhow, a couple of things happend today to bring this about. Lets start with Bobby Atkinson. Ok this girl is very left minded, very intelligent and pretty too. Problem is that she wants to be a phsycologist. Aparantly I haven't moved into my "4th stage of moral development" yet so I suck. She hasn't a problem of telling me this every single time I make a joke she didn't find funny or do something to make someone laugh. Well all i have to say about this is, yes, I may not meet the phsycological standards of the day, I may not always be politicaly correct, Im sorry- Im human. Theres something wrong with me, I error, I flaw, I am by nature imperfect and so are you. I don't however need to be told this every time I do something the books say is normal. I am freakin weird and proud of it. Im sorry you find me annoying, but I think its really rude of you to just go around and tell everyone your little cutie "well, its just like this because blah blah blah" lines all the time. I technically dont care! And yes, Im sorry but I do care about other people and how my actions affect them. I really do, and for you to tell me that this stupid 4th stage thing is something I will never acheive, your wrong. The fact of the matter is I don't care how you feel because you don't care about me at all! You shoot off your big smart mouth and expect me to just agree with everything that comes out! Ok now that I got that out of my system! =) Now I have to go off about Beth Chenevey. Yeah I have a gagundo crush on this girl, I tried so hard but in the end I still fell flat on my face in love with this girl. All I want to do is just be with her. Well just about five minutes ago, she finnaly gave me the answer to me asking her out. She says that She doesn't want to go out with me because she breaks up w/ her b/f's alot and she doesn't want to cause any heart ache in the end. My only reply is what is stopping my heart from aching now? I would rather have it ache after we break up and just live with that rather than have it ache now. It hurts worse than anything I can explain. And then she tells me that I should go for someone like me, that Im not her dating type. Well dammit Beth you are!! Your the sweetest girl I know and I would give anything to be with you!! I dont care if we hook up and get married 6 year down the road or break up the first month as long as I had some time with you, then my soul could be satisfied. Then I could know that we atleast tried. I dont want to be saved of heart break! Beth, ever sense I saw you I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I know that if i tell you all of this you will run away from me because you think i want you to commit in the end or something. And I feel that if I lighten up then you'll be engulfed by your ex's and I'll loose my chance! The bottom line is that yes, I want you to be happy and thats all I want Beth but man, It could have been so great. Life could have been so wonderful. And now, im here holding the peices to my heart, shattered so worse then if you would have tried me and left me. You are my type Beth! You really are! I dont know how you are getting this insain idea but you are! Love sucks you know? It sucks atleast when it doesn't work out for you. I hate my freakin luck, i never get it my way. I always get a swift kick in the ass everytime I hope too much or get happy too much. Everytime my life gets back on course I get kicked in the ass. It NEVER FAILS! I'm not even sure if I beleive in love anymore. I thougth I knew what love was, aparantly I have it all wrong. I thougth i knew that being sweet and caring and loving and being yourself was all it took. I was wrong guys, you need money, a fancy car, Old Navy clothes, and big ass mucles. Thats not how it really is, no, thats how the WORLD is. If you find anything different than this, you are damn lucky. Really damn lucky. Well, Im going to go relax somewhere, I dont know where but Im going there. You know, Beth, in the end you really did show me the way, like in my poem. You showed me what love, in all its glory can be like, exactly how it is and nothing but. Thanks Beth, maybe now I really see what life is like.
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| Life as it stands now |
[29 Sep 2001|02:47pm] |
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crazy |
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Im going to try and act like this isn't my first entry that way i can feel like i've had this journal longer! =) Well, I got these roses for a girl at school I like, Beth Chenevy- really sweet girl. Problem is all her Ex's are poping up everywhere now that I've shown up. I asked her out but she just got out of a relationship and isn't sure if she wants to get back into one. I hope she does, I really like her. Well anyhow, life is interesting as usual. Going to Cedar Point tomorrow, going to work here in about 45 min or less. It's really nice having a job. Especially one where you work with all the really hot girls in a pizza shop ehehhe. Thats the fun part! I would type more but Im overheating for some odd reason and I gotta get ready for work. Laterz! ~Out~
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